If you’ve listened to much of my material before, you’ll know that what I talk about a lot is our ancestors and how humans biochemically change when we spend time with other humans. Sometimes, I get so busy that I forget to connect with the people I live with. I find that I’m too tired or overwhelmed.
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We live in a busy digital world – glued to social media and immediately jumping on Facebook the second we get home. For me, I love my iPhone just as much, if not more than the next guy. So much so, that I can forget to connect with the people I live with, or I feel too tired or overwhelmed to interact with other humans.
The digital world and the progress that we have made as human beings are so good. But the thing is, our ancestors did a lot of things that provided so many benefits. If we could bring those strengths and benefits to our current world, a lot of us would be a lot healthier, a lot happier, would enjoy life more, and be able to contribute more.
For example, back in the olden days – let’s talk about when people started farming. When it was time to bring in the wheat, people gathered together to do the harvest. When a barn needed to be built, people gathered together to build the barn. Just the other day, I was at a friend’s house and she was getting a dock built. Now to get the dock built, with getting floats put on it, she needed a gathering of people to help lift up the dock. As I saw all these guys (yes, guys) raising up this heavy structure and working together, in reminded me of what our ancestors did only it was a barn as opposed to a dock to have social engagements on.
I want to do stuff with my hands
While I really crave hanging out with other people, I do find it really challenging to just sit there and sip tea; I want to be doing stuff with my hands. Recently, I’ve been going to a friend’s house and helping her go through old cupboards and drawers, and sort through knickknacks to help organize her home. Speaking for myself, it is much easier to do in someone else’s home rather than my own! I’ve found that I’ve gotten a lot of pleasure from this.
So, if you already have lots going on, one of the things to remember is that even if we just do a chore or something that “has to get done” with a friend, doing it together can be such a neat way of spending time together. In essence, you get the job done and, at the same time, you get that connection of hanging out with someone.
I was helping out a friend
I found that as I was cleaning up my friend’s kitchen drawers, I was actually visiting with another friend while I was doing it! I ended up going home later that night and thinking about how I was so satisfied and happy. It was because I accomplished something (I love accomplishing things). I ended up helping a friend out (“tick”, human beings love being in service). Then I also got to bond with a couple other friends who were also helping out that friend.
SO – that’s the whole idea! It’s such a neat thing to be able to spend time with other people. In our busy world, our digital world, we’re losing that ability of just hanging out and almost losing the skills of getting stuff done. That being said, what we do know, and what science proves (check out the book I read The Village Effect by Susan Pinker), is that it’s not just looking at someone eye to eye, or having a conversation with someone socially. It’s as simple as being in the presence of other human beings makes us happier. The chemicals in our bodies changes, and we have feel good hormones coursing through us.
Who would have thought it? We’re social creatures.