I’ve been a divorce lawyer for more than 20 years, and I have seen a lot of broken hearts. In that time I’ve also watched client after client rebuild their lives in beautiful and empowering ways.
I have been so inspired by their wisdom that I have been sharing it in a 5-part series called Antidote To Crushing Heartbreak, which is a strategic plan for rebuilding your life when you’ve gone through a devastating breakup.
Too busy to read? Listen to the podcast instead!
Over the course of the series I’ve often talked about my client Lisa*. Lisa suffered terrible heartbreak after 28 years of marriage. After having lived her adult life in service to her children and her husband. When she first separated, she felt like she did not know where to start in terms of rebuilding her life. Lisa sought out some sound advice and over time, and by following the same strategic steps that so many other of my clients had done, Lisa came to rebuild a fulfilling life surrounded by people she loves.
I am writing this series not only to share these inspiring transformations, but also to give hope to anyone who is currently suffering through devastating heartbreak. If you can be strategic about rebuilding your life, you will find joy and happiness again.
A Quick Recap Of Parts 1 – 4
I would encourage anyone who is going through heartbreak to read Parts 1 – 4. If you’re too busy to read, you can listen to the podcasts or watch the videos instead. There are links for the podcasts and the videos embedded in the blog links below.
- In Part 1: Hope & Understanding I explain the theories and the science behind why the pain and loneliness of a crushing breakup are so intense. I also talk about the importance of reforging deep connections with family and close friends as a first step on the path of your healing journey.
- In Part 2: Weaving Your Social Fabric I focus on the importance of spending time in the company of others, and about making heart connections with people who share your interests, so that you can weave a rich social fabric and start to build your own created family village.
- In Part 3: Keeping Track Of What’s Important I share two key tools – a Gratitude Journal and a Connections Journal – daily meditation practices that will help you shift your focus from a place of loneliness to a place of gratitude and happiness. They are your daily inspiration to weave the rich social fabric that I talk about in Part 2.
- In Part 4: Finding Fulfillment I talk about the power of being in service to others. By giving of yourself, and of your time (no matter how little), you will shift your focus away from your broken heart and toward a place of gratitude and fulfillment.
Part Five – A forgiveness practice, but not in the way you might think
I’m excited to share this last step of the Antidote to Crushing Heartbreak with you. Starting a forgiveness practice is the most powerful thing I’ve ever done to move myself toward happiness and being grounded in my life.
It is important to know, however, that only a small part of forgiveness practice is about forgiving those who have hurt us.
Anyone who has participated in a forgiveness practice knows that it can be somewhat counter-intuitive. Here’s why: when you engage in a forgiveness practice, while you may be offering forgiveness, a larger part is that you’re also asking for forgiveness. A forgiveness practice asks us to step away from a ‘woe-is-me’ entitlement mentality and take responsibility for our own health, happiness, and well-being. Progress can have a one-step-forward-two-steps-back sort of momentum. And that’s normal! You will be faced with questions and emotions that will make you pause. If you let them, these questions will offer you a world of opportunity to broaden your perspective.
It takes a lot of courage to ask those who have hurt us for their forgiveness. By the way, to be clear, we don’t necessarily call the person up, we actually do the practice as a meditation.
I started with the Hawaiian forgiveness practice of Ho’oponopono, and I’ve now moved to Master Sha’s Forgiveness Practice, part of the Love Peace & Harmony movement. When I was engaged with Ho’oponopono I would meditate for 20 minutes in the morning and another 20 in the afternoon, and by day three I had already noticed a profound change in my perspective. Day three!
For me, however, the more powerful practice is that of Master Sha:
I Love You, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You
Thank you for listening to my 5-part series Antidote to Crushing Heartbreak. It has been my pleasure sharing the wisdom of so many people who have taken these steps to rebuild their life. This series is dedicated to all of them, and to you! as you begin your healing journey.
If you have a story you’d like to share about your healing journey, please share it with the Your Family Village community!
From my home to yours,
*Lisa is a fictional client that I’ve made up to protect the identity and confidential relationships of my real clients. While her identity has been made up, the steps that she took to recover are very real and have been taken by many others on their healing journey.