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Hello Golden Goddess!

Today I want to talk with you about combating loneliness. In particular, post separation, and “middle aged” (which I do not believe in at all!)

When we go through periods of transition like moving out of long term marriage or relationship, our kids get older and move out, retirement, job changes, or a pet passing away, life is more challenging. It hurts more, it’s more raw, it’s rougher and tougher.

When your home life transitions, it looks different. When my husband and I first separated, even with my daughter still here, it was still super lonely. And loneliness for me feels like an emptiness in my heart. It literally feels like a hole.

 

So how do we combat loneliness?

 

As human beings, we’re biochemical creatures. Our ancestors thrived because the lived with other people and interacted with other people and helped each other. The Western ideal of being independent and doing things on our own doesn’t work because it doesn’t feed our natural desire to be around other people which feeds our happiness and well being.

How we efficiently get out of the feeling of feeling lonely?

First of all, we have to get off our screens on Facebook and social media, and go out there, and interact with other people.

But what if you’re busy? You’ve got the full time job, and kids, with tons on your plate? Because we’re social creatures and because we biochemically change when we’re physically around other people, we need to know that every single social interaction we have makes a difference. It makes a chemical change

The next time we go to Starbucks and get the usual, acknowledge the barista and say, “Hello”. We see them for who they are as a person. Next time you need gas, go the the Full Service section and  interact with the gas attendant helping you.

All those little habits actually make us happier as humans. When we engage with the world around us, it makes us happier.

Our bodies also biochemically change when we’re around people but we aren’t talking to them. Like when people go to church, sitting in the pews side by side and watching the pastor, the act of sitting and being together actually changes the body biochemically.

 

Instead of sitting at home watching Netflix, try going to a movie theater instead.

 

When people invite you out, and even if it’s not your thing, go out anyways.

Those little bursts of being with others and interaction hugely and profoundly impact our happiness. When people are happy, happy events come to them, that makes them happy, and the cycle keeps going.

So why not? We’ve got on shot at this life.

Thank you so much for being here. If you haven’t already done so, please join my mailing list for your weekly dose of Golden Goddesses.
Join our Facebook community of Golden Goddesses Revolutionizing our Lives After Separation and Divorce.

From my home to yours,

Val


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