Hello Golden Goddess friend!
Today I want to talk about our ego. It protects us, keeps us safe, and limits possibilities of our lives.
We live the same life over and over and over again. Wake up, coffee, get ready. And sometimes we want to start going to the gym, but we tend to push it off and don’t get around to making positive changes in our life.
We operate from our identities.
If you’re a couch potato, you’ll do things that are couch potato-ey. It’s a matter of us shifting who we are and our habits. But when we want to make those changes in our lives, our ego mind jumps in.
It’s called Disintegration Anxiety.
At our first Golden Goddess Retreat, we started to manifest and put together things in our lives we want to incorporate. On the way home, I started realizing I’ve been able to manifest some amazing things over the last 6 months. I was so inspired, in a great mood, happy to see everyone at the office, and then work started.
I felt like I was run over by a bus. 3 days after returning from the retreat, I had fallen off the wagon. I hadn’t gone for my morning walks, I stopped sticking to my eating plan, my digital business, and my spiritual practice all went out the window.
I was so confused. But then I remembered: Disintegration Anxiety.
Your ego mind wants to continue to do the things that kept you alive yesterday. Our ancestors’ ego mind kept them from going out at night and getting eaten by a wild animal. So it wants to repeat that action of survival and safety.
Whenever we are integrating new habits, the disintegration anxiety ego jumps in and says “Hold on… this is a bad idea!”. It will sound something like, “What were you thinking? You’re too busy to spend time doing x, y, z. Who do you think you are that you can manifest those impossible dreams? You’re meant to work hard, and who do you think you are to think you can want more?”
When you are doing great life change, and changing your identity. There’s a way to do it gently and powerfully. Be aware of your ego trying to come in and keep you “in line”. But just remember that great things take time. It’s okay to fall off the wagon sometimes, just make sure you get back on.
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From my home to yours,
Val (aka a Golden Goddess)